A Dad's Journey

Father of Autistic Twins Speaks Out

Browsing Posts published in July, 2012

Joe should know better. His own son has Asperger’s, but Joe went somewhere he didn’t need to go and he dragged down our entire community in the process.

“Profiler Joe” took it upon himself to add the “A” tag to the most infamous mass murderer the American Public has seen this century, a certain Mr. James Holmes. For reasons unclear to this writer, Joe decided to diagnose Mr. Holmes as most likely Asperger’s (Welcome to the Autism family James!). This might be news to Mr. Holmes and his family. Certainly, the defense will use the insanity plea to help avoid the death penalty. And it may be played out in the press as to whether the autism defense is enough to avoid a murder rap.

But what Mr. Scarborough may not have thought through is the impact his words will have towards the perceptions of high functioning autistic children everywhere. By making the link between Asperger’s and mass murderers, Mr. Scarborough has effectively yelled fired in the theatre. Excuse me for the clumsy metaphor and I don’t mean to in any way make light of the horrible tragedy in Aurora, but there was no reason to add fuel to this tragedy and draw a horrible association to innocent Aspies throughout this country.

Will they now be seen differently; by the public, by their friends, by law officials?

Perhaps Mr. Scarborough simply meant to make an observation. But he broached the ground between being a journalist and being an alarmist. He made a connection that no one in their right mind would put out to the public. And the last person you would expect to do that would be a parent of an autistic child. For what purpose? Mr. Holmes is the most vilified man in modern American culture. The governor of Colorado can’t even call him by his name. And now you’ve just made the connection between this heinous villain and you own son.

For god sakes Joe, what the hell were you thinking?




We’ve all seen the disaproving looks from other parents.  “Why can’t he control that child?” seems to be what they’re saying.  In fact, the reaction from other adults is rated as one of the toughest parts of raising an autistic kid.  Over the years, I have thankfully become more immune to those disaproving stares, but hopefully, future generations will be more aware and more tolerant of autistic families.



They’re all around us and they seem to mean well.  But clearly, they are cognitively impaired.  No matter how many times you tell them that your kids are autistic, in fact severely autistic, they act as if they have severe dementia and immediately forget.  “Hey Kev, what do you think about having the boys go to a Jets or Giants game?”.  Hey pal, are you insane?   Could you imagine how the boys would react to that scene and being cooped in a seat for over three hours?  Why don’t you ask me to stick bamboo shoots up my fingernails because I think that would get my vote.

Anyway, I think neurotypicals just keep gravitating back to the norm, or at least, their norm.  And no matter how many times you remind them that your family dosen’t swim in those waters, they keep imposing ideas that simply make no sense for the autistic family.

Even family who should know better seem to be subject to “Neurotypical Dementia”.  Oh well, the next time a friend or family member suggests another god awful idea, just heed the advice of Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young “Just look at them and sign and know they love you.”